Hopeless.


I scream out for help, but no one hears me.
The crowd is too loud and I get drowned out.
All of my pleas end up as silent shouts.
It's so hard to tell what's real and what's fake.
That place.
That seems like hell for everyone else until they leave.
Only got much worse after I left.
I keep seeing those people.
Who I could've been.
Short-lived, but real friendships.
Yet I might never see them again.
My old friends turning into me, but sadder.
Then I'm taken back into the real world.
And none of those realities even mattered.
No one wants to hear a dream.
A dream that makes no sense, but means so much to me.
Then I think about how crazy I am.
How crazy I would sound to them.
How I got here.
That not even I know.
How I got stuck in this constant loop of numbness.
How sometimes I'm so good at pretending.
But sometimes the facade slips.
And I have to glue the pieces back together before everything falls apart.
How can I stop being self aware?
How can I get myself to believe my old delusions?
How can I be happy again?
It'll never work.
Because no matter what, I keep being pulled back into reality.
So many people just like me, yet I feel so alone.
So isolated from them.
I can't talk to them because I'm not allowed into the crowd.
Instead I stare off into space, because all hope is lost.
I'm hopeless now.