mome <3

Not excited for new year. Everyone's gonna be shooting and it makes me so stressed out. New years in general is just a bad time for our family because tragedies seem to keep happening, and then the idiots having fun makes it even worse. I remember last year, I was laying in my bed blasting chill kill reversed in my ears until the shooting stopped. Good memory. I need to remember to get new earbuds tomorrow if I can, because my dad said he would get some good quality ones from home depot on his company card since I lost one of mine last week and cant find it. I also wanna go to the grocery store and get some snacks because I'm binging again and need to fill my addiction. Sure it's a bad habit, but food is the only constant thing in my life rn. And not for long, because my mom got my bloodwork checked because my glucose levels were high and found out I have lots of vitamin deficiencies so she wants me to start eating healthier. It's so boring not being able to talk to my friends like I used to. Every time I'm about to make a post I'm just reminded of everything I used to be. And here I thought this winter something bad wasn't gonna happen, but it seems like EVERY year something terrible happens during winter. it's almost kinda funny atp T^T I've been interacting a lot more with my irl 'friends' but honestly I just don't like them. They're all so fake and mean and gossipy, ALL they do is talk about other people, I'm not kidding. It's too forced trying to be their friends. I don't WANT to be their friends but they're all I have that my parents approve of, so I have to keep trying to force myself into their friendgroup when we all know i'm the odd one out. I just feel so empty inside. But I still have hope. I really hope 2025 is a good year, and that it undoes the 2020's curse lol. Because remember when in 2019 we were all like "2020 is gonna be our year!" and then we were oh so wrong? Well it's finally another multiple of 5 year, hopefully we have a chance this time. 2025, hwaiting.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+